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Chapters 7-8

Chapter 7 – Tell Me What You Want and I’ll Help You


Read: Pages 91-101

Answer: Click here to share your responses

How does the story of Flight 232 – and the lessons that Coyle extracts from it – challenge your expectations about what effective coaching should be? Do you feel the need to be an expert, or even to just know what you are doing? Or at least know more than the coachee? What would happen to your coaching partnerships if you let go of those expectations?

How many of your meetings feel like being in the cockpit, intensely working together with your coachee, while the plane is going down? If none of them feel this way, what could you do to create the same sense of urgency, collaboration, and deep problem-solving work on the things that really matter? How would you need to change as a coach to make this happen?

You could think about the reflection and feedback section of the coaching meeting as a BrainTrust or After-Action Review. Based on the descriptions on pages 98-99, there must be some discomfort in order for these meetings to be considered successful. Do you think that growth can happen without discomfort? Are there times that you hold back from being candid? Why? Do you like your reasons?

How could you use your coaching circle meetings as the equivalent of an After Action Review for your own coaching?

Chapter 8 – The Vulnerability Loop


Read: Pages 102-113

Answer: Click here to share your responses

Describe a time when you experienced or created a vulnerability loop. How can you signal that coaching is a safe place to “go there”?

Page 106 describes the way that showing vulnerability can increase cooperation levels. How could you use this insight to create trust and reduce resistance to coaching?

The MIT balloon story on pages 108-111 illustrates how cooperation can lead to better results, faster. In what ways does your organization dis-incentivize cooperation? In what ways is cooperation encouraged?

Are there “extreme” things that you could do in your organization or with your coachees to establish the “constant stream of vulnerability” that allows people to take risks?

Extra Credit


Read: 36 questions to develop a sense of closeness

Watch: The three most important words a leader can say